Wendy & Thilankka



My Maid of Honour speech:

A year ago you both witnessed a miracle invisible to others: you both fell in love.

A month ago you both understood each other – because understanding leads to acceptance, which leads to kindness which becomes a deeper love.

A week ago your patience was tested. Patience is strength not an absence of action, it waits for the right time to act.

Yesterday you both realized that unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, the situation and the other, you cannot move forward.

Today you made a solemn vow – to be committed to each other and decisions you made yet staying flexible in your approach.

And tomorrow you begin your journey- a roller-coaster ride. So remember to laugh, scream, cry and it’s totally okay if you puke. Why? Because you have your biggest cheerleader, your best friend, your soul mate right next to you. So have fun because it’s all about the journey and not the destination!

So let’s raise our glasses to Wendy and Thilankka. I hope your journey will be a blessed and a fun, topsy-turvy one (because those are the best kind!)

NOW that my speech is over, I can be the brat I am and do exactly what they ordered me not to do; because I leave tonight and there’s no time for them to kill me and make it look like an accident. So ladies and gentlemen and dear happy couple- here’s a look at your journey to this point!

Written and created by Melody Perera.

(Music in video: “Somewhere over the Rainbow” by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole and “Love Story” by Taylor Swift)

~a Sonnet to a Boy~

Everything I see with my brown eyes
The grains of sand to the starry skies
Has a tale of a beginning, has a tale of an end
But this feeling inside, I cannot comprehend
The time that is given I wish I can extend
For my heart longs to transcend
The constraints of the world:  a kind of dearth
All laws of life, all laws of earth.
So many emotions like going to war
Shaking me to the very core
The soul that does this to me is his
Through its windows I see truth and wonder
And if that is what Love is
“Those whom God hath joined, let no man put asunder”

- Melody Perera

Picture courtesy of: http://weheartit.com/entry/21101470

Forms of Time

It takes days to find all the broken pieces

To iron out all the creases

It takes months to piece them together

It all depends on the weather

It takes seasons for the glue to set

The memories, the hurt – to forget

It takes years before you can hold it

A lot of courage and strength is needed to not admit

But it takes an eternity to stop loving you

That you will always be my beau.

Time be my friend

Let this hurt end

Moments, please fly by

Make the feelings die

It maybe hell that I’m going through

But I’ll fight to become new

Even if it takes days, months, seasons, years

I will face my fears

And one fine day

With a bright sun-shiny ray

I’ll stop being blue

And not remember you.

       -Melody Perera

The 7 Stages of Grief

1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.

2. PAIN & GUILT-

As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.

You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn’t do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.

3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.

You may rail against fate, questioning “Why me?” You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair (“I will never drink again if you just bring him back”)

4. “DEPRESSION”, REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be “talked out of it” by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.

During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.


5. THE UPWARD TURN-
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your “depression” begins to lift slightly.

6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward.

You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your lost loved one without pain; sadness, yes, but the wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living. 

-www.recover-from-grief.com

- Picture courtesy of www.brynblankinship.com

Grief Never Grows Old

Grief never grows old,
it never dies;
as fresh as the flowers
as clear as the skies.

My heart, it is empty.
My feelings, grown cold.
But I’ll always remember
grief never grows old.

Love lives like a flame.
It flickers and dies.
It flares with a brightness
that bewilders the eyes.

There is a burning
so deep in my soul
will always be with you,
grief never grows old.

Grief never leaves you.
It’s hand in hand,
like an unresolved question
you don’t understand…

…That no one can answer,
no one can say
why grief never grows old at all
or fades away.

Time moves like the wind,
the moment he gave,
time flies like an eagle
from cradle to grave.

There are tears for your dying,
no harvest of gold,
though all things must pass away,
grief never grows old.

Grief never leaves you (it never leaves you)
It’s hand in hand (it’s hand in hand)
like an unresolved question
I don’t understand (I don’t understand)

that no one can answer,
no one can say
why grief never grows old at all
or fades away.

Grief never grows old
Grief never grows old
Grief never grows old
Grief never grows old

Grief never grows old,
it falls with the rain.
It’s a late summer evening,
the morning refrains
and sorrow’s an ocean
as deep as it’s cold.

Memories remind me
grief never grows old.

- Mike Reed/ One World Project

Picture courtesy of: smartmeetings.com

The Seed

The seed was planted years ago
Deep in the ground below,
But the plant was never given room
For that flower to bloom.

The seed was forgotten,
As the years rolled by
People said it was rotten,
It was nothing but a lie.

One spring day, out of the earth
That little brown seed gave birth.
The plant grew steady and strong
Among the weeds that could do wrong.

The weeds twisted and twirled
Around the plant,
Its poisonous thorns swirled
Making it slant.

The cold winds blew and the ice was cruel
Sun and snow fighting the duel
Winter came swift, victoriously too
And broke the plant into two.

The cold days were numbered,
And the ice began to melt
But the plant was already plundered
Sorrow was all the seed felt.

Yet the seed still lies in the ground
Wishing and hoping it will be found,
Such a tiny thing, with such strength
To withstand the cold’s length.

So water it with tears of faith, give it smiling rays of hope
Let it grow, let it bloom, give it time for its debut,
Give it all the care, even more than it can cope
And let the beautiful flower of love, blossom forever and true.

-Melody Perera

Picture courtesy of: http://studweldprod.com/Sowaseed.htm